I felt compelled to transcribe this particular assault upon my senses several days ago, when it happened. But, as I'm continuing to post popular choices from the post-poll, I thought this would make a fine example of my insanity in the 'conversations with my characters' category.
The Scene. I lie peacefully in bed, on the very cusp of falling into a blissful sleep, when, to my horror and disbelief, I become aware of voices.
DESIRE [hushed whisper]:
Rage. Rage. Stop it, can't you see she's trying to - don't you dare -
Sangu? Magpie? Favourite scribe?
Hmpf. You dared.
ME [opens eyes, sees Rage, and shuts them again, convinced the gods aren't this cruel. Opens eyes again. No, he's still there]:
I wanna sleep.
Which is fair and all that, but I really do have to tell you -
Where's Death? I want him to take you away. He's the only one you ever listen to.
Does he? Does he really? I do hate to break it to you, Des, but if you had a smidgeon of command over Rage, he wouldn't be here destroying my peaceful slumber.
Did I hear somebody ask for me?
Sorry. Did I startle you?
ME [infuriated by the stupidity of that question]
And you're supposed to be the clever one.
DEATH [grins]. This is enough to set Rage off, who adopts a look of inappropriate good humour.
You're all far too happy for this unearthly hour of the morning. Goodnight.
See? I told you you shouldn't have woken her. Now you've gone and upset her. Apologize at once.
I am trying to prove I can command, Rage, would you do me the courtesy of humouring me?
I do hate to be a kill-joy -
No, you don't.
But I do.
You don't. You're always ruining the fun. Hey-ho, what can you do? In your nature and all that.
And you are what, precisely? A ray of sunshine?
ME [with my head buried in a pillow]:
I really don't deserve this.