ON AN AVERAGE WRITING DAY
1.30 PM: Wake up
1.35 PM: Fall back asleep
1.40 PM: Wake up and play games on iPad or, if very lucky, read a bit of a book (or a whole book. Why not?)
2 PM: Turn on laptop, because laptop takes at least twenty minutes to start up properly. Then go get dressed and brushed and whatever else. On busy days dressing and brushing is optional. Pity postman.
2.30 PM: Check emails. Return blog comments that arrived overnight/day. Write up a blog post if I have time, otherwise glance over my favourite blogs and Twitter stuff.
2.45 PM: Find a song I really want to listen to right now. Usually a song that fits what I'm about to be working on.
2.47 PM: Start writing/editing/revising/tweaking/proofreading/tearing hair out.
3.50 PM: Notice that I received a text message half an hour ago. Odd. Why didn't I hear that? Hmm. Forget to reply to text message because brain is fully lost in book-world.
4.10 PM: Realize I'm hungry. Even odder. Have I not eaten today? Oh. Why didn't I? Hmm. Forget to eat because brain is fully lost in book-world.
5 PM: Brain aches. Eat a plum.
5.15 PM: Steve rings to say he's leaving work. I mumble, most irked about being disturbed while brain is fully lost in book-world. Steve tentatively inquires about text messages that were not replied to. I say 'hmm? What did you say?'
6 PM: Look around wondering where Steve went. He's been quiet an awfully long time.
Oh. He hasn't come home yet.
6.20 PM: Steve comes home and kisses me on the top of my head, over the back of my chair. Refrains from pointing out the fact that I look like a deformed crab, hunched over laptop with alarmingly bad posture.
6.30 PM: Look around wanting to know why Steve never hugged or kissed me when he came home. He sighs. I give him a hug and we manage to have a proper conversation lasting a whole three minutes. I go back to writing/editing/revising/tweaking/proofreading/tearing hair out. Brain aches. Odd. Why am I hungry?
7 PM: Steve shouts at me for only eating a plum all day. I make up for it by taking a two-hour break and watching TV with him and eating Too Much Dinner. And dessert. We have real conversations and sprawl half on top of each other on the sofa to watch TV.
9 PM: Return to manuscript. Brain does not ache. In fact, brain wants to know why Characters One and Two aren't kissing yet.
9.30 PM: Realize I haven't put a new song on since 3 PM and must do so because Steve is heartily sick of hearing the same thing over and over. Change song and play it for the next three hours.
4 AM: Turn off laptop. Brain aches.
4.10 AM: Shower. Wash hair. Trip out of shower and into bedroom, where Steve is asleep on my side of the bed. Make him move. Get in bed.
4.30 AM: Can't sleep. Bloody nuisance. Read a book. Or poke Steve and demand entertainment.
6 AM: Finish book. Stop poking Steve. Sleep.
8 AM: Wake from comatose condition to Steve kissing me goodbye as he leaves for work. Swat him affectionately and descend back into the depths of corpse-like slumber.
12 PM: Postman knocks. Stumble downstairs and offer winning smile.
12.10 PM: Comatose.
1.30 PM: Wake up. And start all over again.