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Friday 21 January 2011

The Significant Other Blogfest


That means, dear readers, that today I will be relinquishing control of my blog and handing it over to my fiance Steve (who will be my husband in a week - eek). This is for the Significant Other Blogfest, hosted by DL Hammons and Talli Roland, where the people who selflessly support writers tell us what it's like to deal with us. The trials, the tribulations. The hell. The (occasional?) joys. Do pop over to the blogfest link and check out the other entries!

Now, over to Steve.


STEVE SAYS:

I’ve now lived with an author for seven months, and have been romantically entangled with one for nearly two years. (The author in question being Sangu, by the way, not some other random person.)

The first thing that comes to my head is how wonderful it is to watch someone go about their craft and see how submersed they are in it, how they can’t be distracted by anything (unless the thing is consumable…) It’s not unusual for me to spend a couple of hours playing computer games or watching TV with Sangu tip-tip-tapping away next to me, completely oblivious. And it makes me extremely happy that she can now make a career out of something she loves so much.

I suppose that living with an author means that you have to accept certain things.

1)      Sometimes you will be less real than characters.

2)      Sometimes you will be a postman/tea-boy/waiter.

3)      Not speaking to your partner for several hours, without feeling ignored.

4)      Your partner may not do any writing for a month, and then not look up from their laptop for a week.

5)      Small quirks and foibles are Very Important Things.

It was a very eye-opening experience for someone who reads a lot of books (though nowhere near as many as Sangu does) to realize just how much effort, thought and time goes into a single sentence – let alone a book. It is a mad experience to have a conversation with Sangu about characters talking to her and not wonder if she’s clinically insane, or to hear the level of detail authors have stored in their heads about every character of every project they’ve ever worked on.

I have only actually watched Sangu finish one book during the two years we’ve been together, and that was the one that is soon to be published. It is quite amazing to watch a spark of an idea grow into a story, evolve over umpteen drafts, pick up an agent and finally a publisher.

I like to act like a normal reader when reading through Sangu’s work (i.e. not knowing anything about a book before I read each chapter on the laptop). This is one of the hardest parts of being with a writer – it’s so tempting to ask for spoilers the whole time! Especially when you really want to know what’s going to happen next (damn you, chapter-ending cliffhangers!) When you buy a completed book, you can read on till it’s done if you want to, but with a work-in-progress I sometimes have to wait weeks before reading the next page. This doesn’t even begin to describe the many projects she’s started and abandoned right after hooking me.

So, you know. It can be agony. But it's also amazing to be with a writer. And I wouldn't swap it for anything.

29 comments:

  1. Steve, I bet my wife feels the same way!
    Congratulations, Sangu - first blogfest post I've read. Mine goes up tomorrow before 6am.

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  2. Wow! I didn't know about this blogfest until I came here.

    Steve, your comments sound a lot like my boyfriend's. We all appreciate how much our significant others support our writing. Haha, I love the "sometimes you will be less real than characters" part.

    So nice to hear your side of it!

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  3. Truer words were never spoken. I think my husband echos those sentiments. I think he's getting used to it as well. Wonderful!

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  4. Right on Steve! Finding a pace that allows you both to be yourselves, and one step further supporting each other, is no doubt a part of building a good relationship.
    From living with a budding professional potter, I know what you mean.

    Congrats to both of you on your soon to be wedding!

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  5. Not all writers are the same, Steve. I’ve just finished (I use the term loosely) my fifth novel and now I’m sitting here waiting on my wife coming back from visiting her folks in the States so she can read it (and maybe then it’ll feel finished). She knows almost nothing about it even though I’ve been working on it for five years due to illness. She knows the title, it’s been called Left since pretty much the start, and she knows it’s about a woman clearing up her dad’s flat after his death and that’s about it to be honest. I don’t like sharing because it raises false expectations. The structure of this book has changed several times. At the start the daughter was 30 and the father 50 and the daughter had running conversations in her head with the dad; now she’s 50 and he’s seventy and she doesn’t. The book started out in third person and then was rewritten in the first person. I’ve never let my wife read a work in progress although I do take on board whatever she has to say which is why I’m wary about saying the book is finished because I’ll have a lot of questions for her and if she doesn’t pick up on some of the subtleties in the book I may have to make them more explicit. For the record she also doesn’t share with me.

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  6. He makes a good point about the cliffhangers! I've never thought of that.

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  7. Bless you, Steve. You've shown what an amazing and supportive partner you are.

    Congratulations for your upcoming wedding!

    My significant other

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  8. What a great way to get to know you better, Sangu. Sounds like you have a great guy there... very supportive.

    Nice to meet you both! :)

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  9. I really really enjoyed this post. Steve sounds like he's really got his head screwed on straight! Nice post. Oh, and um, yeah, this: 'Sometimes you will be less real than characters." SO true!!! LOL

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  10. My SO, Nate, used to read my works in progress. But then I kept changing things, or dropping them entirely, he got frustrsated. He has since informed me: "I'm not reading crap until there's a complete draft."

    And he's right.

    Love Sangu, and love this post! Great job Steve!

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  11. Steve! What a lovely post! Aw, Sangu, he sounds really nice and so supportive. I love how he says you can't be distracted by things (unless that thing is consumable!).

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  12. So lovely to read this and find out more about you from Steve's perspective.
    Wishing you every happiness, that picture of the pair of you is wonderful. xxx

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  13. I loved getting this wonderful introduction to you and your blog through the eyes of your significant other. Congrats of the success of your book! Looking forward to reading much more from you. Thanks to you both for sharing!

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  14. OK...you can go ahead and marry him, Sangu. He's a keeper! He expresses himself so well, and you can tell by the way he talks about you that he is your greatest champion. Thank you both for participating and making today so special for Talli and I! :)

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  15. This is so sweet, I bet you'll have a long and wonderful marriage. Reminds me of my SO!

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  16. Great post! Steve's sounds like someone who gets it. Who understands that living with a writer can suck sometime, but in the end, hopefully, is worth it.

    Dan - here's my wife's post.

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  17. Great post, I like that you want to know what your fiance is writing and are all into spoilers.

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  18. Nice post. Very Sweet and honest. What a guy.

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  19. You are absolutely perfect for her! Congrats to both of you on your upcoming wedding!

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  20. Lovely post! I found you from the blogfest. Good luck on your upcoming book. It's obvious your SO is so proud!

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  21. Great post Steve. He sounds like someone who gets it. Maybe he should teach a class to all the non-writers in our lives.

    J

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  22. Aw, that's sweet. It's awesome that you're so supportive. I wish my husband would read my writing.

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  23. My husband asks for spoilers, too, only because he's such a slow reader. I always hold out though!

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  24. what a great list! I'm pretty sure my husband would've written the exact same bulleted list~ :o) <3

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  25. Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

    Great post -- very insightful observations.

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  26. Well said. Loved the line about being less real than the characters. Awesome. Congrats on the wedding. Wow!

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  27. This is one of my favorite posts of this blogfest!! Well done!

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  28. Oh my gosh, that is so wonderful. I love that he gets hooked into your work. It always helps to have a someone saying, come on, what's next?

    Congratulations on your soon to happen wedding.

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  29. Congrats on your wedding in a week!!! You must be so excited!

    Great SO post! At least Steve already knows what he's getting himself into by marrying a writer. :)

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